Cruising to Norway Aboard the P&O Iona

Photo by Craig M. - 2024 ©

Every year I seem to get older, and every year I attempt to celebrate that mundane fact in the grandest way I can afford, and this year I decided to do what I'd missed out on in 2020 - cruising to Norway.

In the past, the notion of cruising had always put me in a fit of excitement. What better way to travel somewhere new than by relaxing the day away and eating until I'm stupidly full on a cruise ship? Well, suffice it to say, time changes people's opinions and mine were definitely altered over the course of the last four years. I couldn't say when the change began, but the definite final stage became the generalised (and quite thorough) misanthropic views of cruising (and really all travel in general) and so, this cruise would be entirely sideways almost from the word go.

With that being said, I think it's important to start from the beginning and unravel the tale little by little. Please note that this post will be a thin overview of everything we did, day by day, and more in-depth posts will be soon after this one.

***

The cruise was a seven night passage beginning on the 8th of June 2024 and returning to port on the 15th. It was a round-trip affair out of Southampton, a dilapidated and dingy area by anyone's standards, only briefly pockmarked by greenery by way of sad little patches of parkland which provide homes to literal rats, pigeons, seagulls and the homeless and wayfaring.

But thankfully we didn't traverse all the way down to Southampton on the same day as the cruise. No, we had other places to be.

So one thing to note is that my partner is a theme park nut. He loves them. Adores them. Literally based his career around them.

Me? I mean I enjoy them, sure, but I don't scour the ends of the planet looking for the next theme park to hit up.

But the boy does, so off we went to Paultons Park in Romsey!

We started off our trip on a Friday morning. We woke up early (for us) and set off down south, hoping to arrive to Paultons just after midday.

It took just over three hours and, yes, we were both sick of being in the car at that point, but we made it to Paultons Park (Home of Peppa Pig World) just after lunch time!

It was an absolutely beautiful day in June. The sun was shining. The heat index was tolerable. And the park itself was absolutely beautiful. Greenery for days. Sure, there were definitely rides, some of them quite fun, but I enjoyed the scenery. We perused the gardens, said hello to the birds and other various animals and, in no time at all, we had to leave the park as they were closing for the day. I don't normally say this but I was quite sad to be leaving Paultons. I probably wouldn't advise going on a weekend if you can avoid it, but the Friday we went was perfectly lovely, even with all the school groups running amok around the place.

The riverside walk at Paultons Park. Photo by Alicia M. ©

After our fun-filled day at Paultons, we drove the twenty or so minutes to our accommodation for the night: The Pilgrim Inn in Marchwood.

The Pilgrim Inn in Marchwood. Photo by Craig M. ©

Overall our stay at the inn was enjoyable. Check-in was a breeze and our room was mere feet from the check in desk. The room was sizable and quite well appointed. It came with gorgeous Artisan coffees and chocolates and the bed was quite comfy as well. The only niggles with the room were the absolutely filthy mattress cover that was covered in dog hair and the loose toilet seat that would move every time you sat down.

We didn't alert the staff to our findings as we didn't find it severely detrimental to our stay. I'm only reporting on it in the hopes that more dog-friendly establishments take the time and care to inspect the linens more thoroughly, especially as many guests do not travel with dogs. Yes, we could have stayed in a non pet friendly place, but that is becoming more and more difficult to do as more often than not, dogs are welcome in many places in the United Kingdom.

The bed was very comfy and extra pillows were provided almost immediately upon asking. Photo by Craig M. ©

The other questionable decisions about the room were more head-scratchers and not actually problems, but the locked patio doors that led absolutely nowhere and the small double aspect windows that couldn't be opened properly due to the heavy curtain were simply odd design decisions and in no-way impacted the room itself - unless of course it's over 30 Celsius at night...then I suppose those locked doors and wonky windows would be a huge pain!

The bathroom was large and the claw-foot bathtub a real treat. Photo by Craig M. ©

Frankly, the only real let down by the Pilgrim Inn was their food. After Paultons Park we elected to have dinner at the Pilgrim Inn and it wasn't to our expectations. We both chose fish dishes and found them dry, unseasoned and very bland.

The next morning we had breakfast with them as well and found more of the same. My partner chose the full English and I had the poached eggs over English muffins with ham and hollandaise sauce. The eggs were overcooked and the ham tasted off, like it'd been a few days out of date. My partner said the sausage on his full English was of cheap quality and that the overall quality of his food wasn't what he expected from such a nice establishment.

The eggs were 1-2 minutes overcooked, sadly. Photo by Alicia M. ©

Still, despite those shortcomings the inn itself is gorgeous and not lacking in amenities whatsoever. The staff are friendly and accommodating and the inn itself is a mere 20 minutes or so from both Paultons Park and the port of Southampton so it really is in an ideal location, so I give the Pilgrim Inn a solid 4.5/5. ⭐

Friday came and went quickly, and Saturday would be no exception.

After breakfast we decided to check out the local area before heading to the port. Our boarding wouldn't start for several hours and we certainly didn't want to linger around in Southampton more than absolutely necessary, so we decided to see what the United Kingdom's newest national park, New Forest, was all about.

Sadly, not much.

Now, we didn't venture in exceptionally far, mind you, but we did drive to the small town of Lyndhurst and have a mosey around for an hour or so. It was lovely, quaint, and we were able to buy a New Forest magnet after a fair bit of hunting, but what we saw of the New Forest was pretty standard scenery for the UK so I wasn't exactly impressed. Perhaps next time we're in the area we'll broaden our horizons and explore some more, but as national parks go it wasn't what I expected.

This pub in Lyndhurst even had planters on the roof! Photo by Alicia M. ©

After visiting Lyndhurst, we decided to head over to Southampton to snag us some long-stay parking. Silly me hadn't counted on the cruise parking to be completely booked up by the time I'd gotten around to it, so we opted for the Eastgate Street Multi-story Car Park which was a 15-minute walk from the cruise terminal.

We got to the car park in plenty of time and had time to kill, so we wandered around bits of Southampton and took it all in.

It's really a shame about most port cities in the UK. By and large they're all a bit shit.

There are certainly nicer bits of Southampton, but the only "nicer" bits were nearer to the cruise terminal and we didn't get to see them. The area around the car park isn't sketchy, per se, but it's not clean either. The stairwell and lift to the car park definitely had a funk about it and the streets were very grimy and covered in litter in some places.

We didn't linger long, however and eventually made our way to Ocean Cruise Terminal (Berth 46). As we got closer we could very prominently see the P&O cruise ship, the Iona, silently looming.

The Iona. Photo by Craig M. ©

Being that we'd arrived well before our boarding time, we sat across from the terminal and people watched for nearly an hour. When it was closer to our time (but still quite early) we queued up, and it was a good thing we did. We stood in the queue for nearly an hour as we took small baby steps towards the front. They subdivided the line the closer we got and only allowed a fragment of people to actually enter in to the building at a time. Once inside, we joined yet another queue and waited at least half an hour there. Finally, after a very long wait, we approached the desk, handed over our passports, took our photos and were off!

Off to security! Thankfully security was more or less a breeze so then we were finally released to board the Iona!

Photo by Craig M. ©

Once on board we meandered briefly in the atrium, taking quick note of all the bars, cafes and corridors there, then headed straight to our room, midship on deck 5.

We opted for a balcony on this trip, especially since we were to be sailing down the fjords and we couldn't imagine travelling through the waters of Norway without one. The room was fairly clean, the odd bit of hair and plastic bits notwithstanding, and the cabin crew seemed to forget the last luggage mat atop the cabinetry, but otherwise it was a perfectly reasonable cabin, the smallest balcony I've stayed in with P&O cruises but still functional.

After unloading most of our bags we decided to have a wander and explore the ship. A more detailed map of the ship can be found here.

Overlooking the adults-only area, deck 19, forward. Photo by Alicia M. ©

Ripples gelato, Promenade deck, midship. Photo by Alicia M. ©

The Skydome, Lido deck, midship. Photo by Craig M. ©

After having a wander we decided to have an early dinner, and apparently so did half the ship. The main buffet area of the ship is called the Horizon restaurant, and the layout was, quite frankly, terrible. The majority of the food offerings were sequestered into narrow, cramped corridors that led from starboard to port and, as such, were always very difficult to manage. The majority of the food was also shoved into these areas as well which meant that no matter what you were after, whether it be the mains, the bread, the desserts, etc., you had to trample or be trampled in these corridors where queuing is optional and the competition alarmingly fierce. There were only two of these food corridors as well, which meant that a thousand plus people could be competing for resources in a very condensed area, never mind trying to balance plates and cups, cutlery and desserts.

Frankly I found the whole experience chaotic and not at all conducive to a peaceful meal.

The next day was a sea day. We slept in (as you do) and had breakfast at Horizon. We then continued exploring the ship. The sea became choppier the further North we travelled and, as such, much of what was relegated to activities for the day were cancelled, including the archery session on deck 19. The next thing we tried was a small golf challenge in the atrium, which we quickly found was geared towards children. Bored and wanting to do something, anything, we found they were doing glow-in-the-dark painting sessions, you only had to pay for the privilege. They offered us drinks, but as I despise diet sodas (and that's all they have on tap) and I don't drink beer, I relegated myself to water until I found out I could have asked for wine, so I did. The chap taking the order wasn't particularly friendly about it and, throughout the entirety of the cruise, I found only one or two crew members to be modestly cheerful. The rest were either apathetic or borderline rude.

Regardless, we created our glow in the dark artworks and were promptly kicked out to allow the next group a shot.

The boy opted for a cubist montage and I tried to capture the iridescent red ibis we'd seen at Paultons.

Can you see the resemblance? Photo by Craig M. ©

Mostly, though, we explored the top decks of the ship and watched Star Trek on the small pen stick I'd brought with me. Unless you wanted to be marketed to or to gamble, there wasn't much to do on the ship. Even the library was attached to a coffee shop on one end and a whiskey room on the other so forget a quiet retreat amongst the books.

Monday morning came quickly and we'd finally arrived at our first port of call: Stavanger! Now, don't be like me. I mispronounced Stavanger for months before hearing it said aloud. The most common pronunciation I heard was Stuh-VANG-guh, with a hard "G" if that makes sense.

No matter how you prefer to pronounce it, the port was definitely what you'd call the quintessential Norwegian view.

Our view of Stavanger from our balcony. Photo by Alicia M. ©

Coincidentally, it was also my birthday! So, it was truly a good thing that we'd be stepping ashore Norway that day.

The very first thing we did was take a short excursion. Before setting sale, we'd opted for the Baker's Paradise excursion offered by the cruise line. Seeing as it was my birthday, I did insist on it. We rode the coach for nearly an hour, enjoying the scenery, when off we turned onto a tiny unpaved drive. Down, down, down we drove, stopping occasionally for the tour guide to bounce off and open the gates for the driver. When we reached the Baker's Paradise cafe, this was the view that greeted us.

Baker's Paradise cafe rests on the shores of Høgsfjorden. Photo by Alicia M. ©

Baker's Paradise cafe. Photo by Craig M. ©

Photo by Craig M. ©

Finally it was time to return to Stavanger. Luckily we still had hours left before the ship left port, so we decided to shuffle around for a bit. We visited the visitor's information centre, the local convenience store and finally decided to sample the local cafe, called No 18 Kulterkafe, for a quick bite. I personally had a caesar salad with chicken and it was very, very nice. Honestly, it was some of the nicest food I had on the trip. The inside was very neatly decorated with plush, upmarket furniture and a shabby chic vibe, complete with coffees, cakes and pastries of all kinds.

After lunch we visited the local tourist shops but quickly vacated as you could tell the majority of the wares were all tatty kit from China. Finally, we ascended to view the incredible Old Town.

There are loads more photos and much more that we did, but that will be it's own Stavanger post!

The next day, Tuesday, we were in Olden and were scheduled to do the Briksdal glacier by troll car. Now, a troll car is just a passenger-style John Deere ATV, but absolutely nowhere on the internet will you find the specs for the damn things. Nevertheless, we were transported to Jostedal Glacier national park, home of the Briksdal glacier, and we were soon in awe. The views were spectacular.

We didn't actually set foot on the glacier, but we were close enough to see it.

After our excursion we had a few hours to kill so we wandered around Olden for a bit. We stopped in at the local grocery store and picked up a few things, mostly junk food, then sat and admired the amazing scenery. It really was a nice day that day.

It really is difficult to put into words just how pristine and ethereal your surroundings are in this part of the world. Every five minutes you pinch yourself to remind your brain that you're actually there, that it's not a dream. Olden absolutely deserves it's own post, and that will be forthcoming.

On Wednesday we arrived in Hellesylt. This was the only day we opted not to do an excursion, and whilst we still had an enjoyable time, we did regret slightly not venturing out from this port town. Hellesylt is quite small, and doesn't have the same offerings as larger ports. There are at least two grocery stores, a couple cafes and a place to get pizza, and that's largely it. Other than visit the tourist shops or the old church, there's not much to do.

Oh, and apparently the Tom Cruise Mission Impossible motorcycle jump was filmed in Hellesylt, but there you go.

You could rent these tiny electric cars and go on a guided tour. Considering the time constraints and cost, we opted not to do this. Photo by Craig M. ©

Hellesylt will get it's own brief post, but for now we'll move on to Haugesund. Pronounced HOW-geh-zund, this lovely port town had loads to see and do. My only regret is we didn't get to do more whilst we were here.

So, Thursday morning arrived and we were waterfall bound. On today's agenda we were to visit the fantastic Åakrafjord and Langfoss Waterfall. The journey took quite a while, but (as per usual) the scenery was to die for. We stopped for a prepared buffet lunch at a rest stop cum grocery store about an hour into our journey. We were treated to select Norwegian meats, cheeses and fish with some fruits and veggies mixed in for good measure. Probably the neatest thing of all was the amazing water cooler that dispensed ice AND water at the same time. Efficient.

After lunch the boy and I purchased some more items from the grocery store, assuming (rightly so) that it'd be our last time getting the chance to buy anything. We then all hopped back aboard the coach and whizzed off to Fjaera where our ferry would take us across the fjord to the Langfoss waterfall.

The waterfall itself was breathtaking and sparkling clean. We were each given a small cup to sample the water ourselves and, I had to admit, I could have easily bottled the entire falls for later consumption. Tasty, tasty water.

After arriving back on land, the coach took us to another viewing point where we could view the falls from a different angle. We also could buy souvenirs and use the loo.

Once back to Haugesund we almost immediately had to board the Iona as the time was quickly ticking towards departure. It was really sad for us, leaving Norway. We'd still have several hours of sailing past land and down the fjords, but it was still bittersweet.

If there were a way for us to move to Norway or Scandinavia in general, we probably would. To say that Norway was stunning would be a complete understatement. Even the busiest of places felt laid back, and the only real bustle and noise was from fellow cruise passengers.

All in all, our journey to Norway was utterly epic. Now, the cruise itself was a complete let down in my view, but you can't fault the country we visited. I'll go in to further detail on the cruise ship and the ports in future posts, but for now, this is where I leave you.

Until next time trail blazers - keep on travellin'!

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Cruising to Norway Aboard the P&O Iona